I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Who did Billy Mays play for?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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