one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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