Whats the glycemic index on semen?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
