Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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