if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
