Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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