why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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