She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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