just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
