Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
