Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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