Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
