I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
