If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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