I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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