She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I skipped work to stalk him.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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