It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
