Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
