so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
