I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
