I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize