the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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