I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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