How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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