I must be too annoying 4 u.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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