Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
