he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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