I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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