it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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