Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
