You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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