just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
