So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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