Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize