she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
