it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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