she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
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So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
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You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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