I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
