I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
