the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
