I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
