The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
