Soap is not a condiment
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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