Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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