Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
