can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
