I got chris browned last night
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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