but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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