Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
