You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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