after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
