i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
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But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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