And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
