Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize