he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
