Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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