I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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