also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
